12 Things to Know About Libido

// Published August 6, 2019 by James Washington

Sex experts debunk popular libido myths and explain in detail what sexual desire really is. So, the next information will be interesting both for women and men.

Libido is a bit more complicated than usual desire for sex

Sometimes people have no desire, but physically they can have sex, and sometimes there is a lot of desire, but the body doesn`t react. Both situations occur constantly and are absolutely normal.

There is no “normal” libido

Many people believe that desire should arise spontaneously. But we are all different, all our bodies are different. So, such thing as normal level of sexual desire doesn`t exist. It can be spontaneous, but often occurs already in process of stimulation. Moreover, sometimes it takes lots of effort to achieve right attitude.

Attempting to maintain “ideal” libido can harm self-esteem

This item follows logically from previous one. Since concept of norm doesn`t exist for libido, it means that high, low sexual desire or its absence is equally normal. People who worry about inconsistency of their desire with mythical ideal get problems with self-esteem and sex.

If libido of your partner is lower than yours, this doesn`t mean that he doesn`t want you

It is easy to succumb to toxic thought that every time you want, but not to your partner, this indicates its cooling. In fact, person may simply have lower level of libido. It has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It`s better to accept this fact, otherwise relationship in bed will become complicated and confusing.

Libido may change due to medical reasons

Anything related to blood circulation, hormones, physical pain, or discomfort can affect your libido. Medical causes include medications (antidepressants, birth control pills), mental and chronic illnesses such as diabetes or polycystic ovary syndrome.

Daily Factors May Affect Libido

According to scientists opinion, there are many studies that prove that variety of factors influence level of sexual desire. The most common is stress.

If desire suddenly disappeared, this is good reason to analyze what changes in your life have occurred recently.

Libido May Change With Age

Body and brain change as they grow older, so libido doesn`t stand still. For example, Dardic notes, during menopause in women, vaginal tissue changes, so sex can become painful. This is simple reason for decreasing desire.

Libido isn`t associated with gender stereotypes

There are many destructive stereotypes about sex and gender. For example, that men all time want sex, but women don`t. Or if woman has high libido, then this isn`t normal, she should be ashamed.

In reality, of course, this is not so. Level of desire is in no way related to gender. But people dominated by stereotypes may begin to think that something is wrong with them.

Libido isn`t equal to orgasm

Sexual desire isn`t guarantee of orgasm. It may well happen that in middle of process a person will be distracted or uncomfortable, and then path to final will become too long. If not blocked at all.

In addition, it`s quite possible to get sex with orgasm, if it started without much desire.

Libido isn`t associated with negative sexual experiences

If you have had negative or inappropriate sexual experience, this still doesn`t say anything about your libido. Therefore, it`s so important to know what you like and dislike. Then you can find out what you want with particular partner.

If you want to increase libido, first understand why

Sometimes desire to increase libido is associated with higher needs of partner, and sometimes with personal experiences. Reasons are different, therefore, they need to be addressed in different ways.

Change in libido can be noticed if you know about your characteristics and desires

To determine standard level of libido, you need to know well about your sexual desires. How often do you get excited? How often do you masturbate? Only with this information can you notice any changes and, if necessary, seek help.